Vegas, Labor Day ‘08: Day 1
“Welcome home.”
August 31, 2008: It’s six A.M. and I’m driving to the airport. I haven’t slept in close to 24 hours, and the fifteen-minute drive to Dulles is a struggle. My girlfriend is a zombie in the seat next to me. She needs coffee.
We park, trudge to the terminal, get our boarding passes and check our luggage.
The TSA guy is all smiles as I hand him my bag, which he x-rays, then opens, removing two cans of spray-on sunscreen. After several tests, he’s convinced that, yes, they’re just sunscreen. He replaces them, zips up the bag and places it with the rest. We head to the gate.
Security is a breeze and soon we’re at a café for a quick pre-flight breakfast.
A little later, we board the plane, push back and take off. Since the plane is only half-full, we have plenty of room and I settle in and fall into a light sleep. About two and a half hours later, I wake up and pass the rest of the flight watching episodes of NewsRadio, Sports Night, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
We land in Las Vegas almost forty minutes early, making this the fastest inbound flight I’ve ever flown. McCarran is a ghost town and we have our bags in under fifteen minutes.
Unfortunately, since we’re so early, our limo is late. I call the dispatcher, who assures me the driver is only a minute or two away. It’s actually closer to ten, but soon enough we’re on the road.
As we wind up the strip, past the gold of Mandalay Bay, the onyx of Luxor and the emerald green of the MGM Grand, our driver tells us that he drove an NBA player all the way to Los Angeles the night before. Said player had just returned from the Olympics and was sick of flying so he opted to take a limo instead. I can’t remember the player’s name, but no, it wasn’t Kobe.
Soon we’re pulling up to the curved brown towers of the Wynn. Under the porte-cochere, a bellman opens the limo door, smiles and says, “Welcome home.”
From the Wynn Las Vegas entry on Wikipedia:
The Tower Suites at Wynn Las Vegas
The Tower Suites at Wynn Las Vegas consists of all rooms and suites in the separated southernmost section of the main tower. These rooms and suites have a private driveway and entrance, a separate check-in area and elevators, and a private pool area. In 2006, The Tower Suites at Wynn Las Vegas was evaluated independently from the rest of the property by Mobil Travel Guide for their 2007 ratings. It was awarded the first and only Mobil Five-Star rating ever awarded to a hotel in Las Vegas.[8] Wynn Las Vegas itself received the Mobil Four-Star rating for 2007.
We head to The Country Club at Wynn for brunch. At this point, I haven’t eaten in about 18 hours, so I’m starving. The waiter asks if we’d like anything to drink, suggesting a Mimosa, which sounds perfect. I order that and a Chipotle Burger because I can’t refuse anything with the word “Chipotle” in the name. My instincts prove good, as the burger is wonderful and the Mimosa is crisp with fresh orange juice.
After lunch, we head to the bar at Tableau, where I have another Mimosa. Soon our room’s ready and we head up to our suite.
At over 1200 square feet, this Parlor Suite is bigger then my condo. A slick mix of red and white, with floor to ceiling windows and a view of the strip, this is the nicest room I’ve ever been in.
We unpack and settle in. It’s now after two pm and I’ve been in Vegas for almost 4 hours without wagering a single dollar. Time to head to the casino.
Video Poker machines bare a passing resemblance to slot machines, but unlike slots, video poker is deterministic. When you push the button or pull the reel on a slot, you’re at the mercy of the machine, which will “hold” a certain percentage of the money put in over the long term. Unfortunately, this “hold” is a closely guarded secret, and may vary from machine to machine inside the casino. Video poker, however, offers the player a chance to affect the outcome, and by playing a statistically proven strategy, you can maximize your long-term chances. Further, the “hold” on video poker machines is clearly visible, in the form of the machine’s pay table.
Wynn has the best video poker on the strip, offering reasonable denomination machines that pay back better than 99.5% over the long term if played correctly. Compare this to just about every other strip casino where you have to wager at least $25 per hand to get similar odds.
First, I settle into a 9/6 Jacks or Better machine, and quickly hit 4 aces for a nice payoff. I move on to a Deuces Wild machine and quickly hit a 5-of-a-kind for another nice payoff. I cash out up and head up to the room to change for dinner.
Dinner is at Joe’s Stone Crab and Prime Steak at the Forum Shops at Caesars. Joe’s is a nice steakhouse that maintains a local feel, with the maître d’ greeting you by saying simply “Welcome to Joe’s”.
Our waitress has been with Joe’s for 30 plus years and steers us toward the signature stone crab legs and the bone-in filet. My first instinct is to get the crab legs, as they are “Joe’s Stone Crab and Prime Steak” not “Joe’s Prime Steak and Stone Crab”, but I waffle and end up ordering the filet instead. The steak is very good, but nothing I’d actively seek out again. I should have got the crab legs. Always trust your gut.
After dinner, we walk through the Forum Shops. In a movie memorabilia store, I spy an autographed photo of Frank Sinatra framed with a set of playing cards and chips from the now demolished Sands casino. I make a mental note to return should I hit a big jackpot.
From the Forum Shops we walk through Caesars. If you’re a video poker player or a Blackjack player, Caesars is not for you. The VP machines have some of the worst pay tables on the strip, and most, if not all, of the Blackjack games are the notorious 6/5 variety. Caesars parent company Harrah’s is some 29 billion (yes that’s billion) dollars in debt and it seems like they’re trying to make it up by squeezing the average gambler. A real shame as Caesars is a nice property.
From Caesars we head to the Bellagio, which is home to one of the few live music bars on the strip. With no cover, it’s a great place to spend a few hours relaxing with a drink. The opening act tonight is an R&B trio. Though talented, they’re pretty much devoid of charisma and fortunately, their set is about done when we arrive. Next up is Diane Diaz.
Diaz has an impressive voice and, along with her top-notch band, covers a wide variety of songs and genres. I down a few Mimosas, which seem to have become my drink of choice, while Diaz belts out some tunes. A sweaty, pudgy, middle-aged man with a half-open shirt dances in front of the stage. Soon, a few couples join him. After a few minutes, the sweaty man’s shirt is just about completely open and he’s grinding on any woman foolish enough to get close enough to him. Security has a word with him but doesn’t throw him out. He must bet the big money.
After several songs, the time change and lack of sleep begin to hit us. Sweaty guy’s still going strong, but we head back to the Wynn. Before heading up to the room, I hit the video poker machines again, giving back everything I won earlier in the day and then some. Finally, we head upstairs and crash.
